Exhaustion, Fatigue, Praise and Blessings in an Overflowing Cup !

D and I have always lived on principal that our cup was always half full never half empty. No matter what was going on in our lives, it is always on the way up, always going to get better, always in GOD's purpose that HE would see us through to the other side for HIS greater good. That has not changed.

Yesterday was a day of massive proportions, everywhere we turned you could see GOD's hands again filling our cups, our hearts, our refrigerators, our arms, our mailbox and our driveway. It was a day of uncountable blessings. But in reality that is the way our walk with GOD has been uncountable blessings.

D had an awesome day yesterday, the start of Hospice was painless, the intake nurse was a delightful young man who fit right in - laughing, joking and helping to ease any discomfort we might have had. JW and Carol were here remembering and joking with D. Jill, Jeremy, and the boys, Brandy brought some needed items off the shopping list. Daniel came by with more chocolate from Debbie. Jarah and Nick came by with those have to things you don't think about. Mom and Dad came to spend the day and night. Dad took a nap with D, Dad slept in the recliner and D in his bed is was a really cute sight and we were happy to have them here. It was a home overflowing with love, bursting at the seams. D felt it and appreciated it as did I.

Tonight, my cup was overflowing, my body had reached that brick wall were I felt there was nothing left to give or do. I physically feel like what I believe an eighty year old women who has played in the NFL for the past 50 years would feel like feels. Every part of body physically hurts and all I want is rest, physical and mental.

But tonight,D is restless, he can't sleep unless I am touching him. The only way for he feels peace is if my hands are on him. He told Brandy and I that he doesn't like anyone laying in the bed with him because it makes him to hot and uncomfortable, so I lay across the bed rail and hold his arms and stroke his face till his goes to sleep. Holding these moments close to my heart.

Then you know what breaks loose - so much for rest - the hiccups start around 10:00 and they literally go on all night long. I try every medication combo I can think of plus all the 13 top solutions I find on the internet. We do sugar, I pull his tongue, I stick my fingers in his ears and he swallows, the list goes on and on. Nothing happens, so the final straw I try the liquid Valium they gave him today to try to relax him because he is so agitated and I call Hospice. Guess what while I am waiting for the nurse to call back I do more research and find out that one of the rare side effects to Valium is uncontrollable hiccups -YOU GOT IT !!!! I just gave him another dose and now instead of better he is worse...

Here I am suppose to be helping and I have just made it worse...GOD takes over, D throws up the medication and you think the worst is over - NO ! the hiccups continue and it is on to Phenergan. Now finally after an all night battle with hiccups, vomiting and nausea. D is finally resting, I am to wired to sleep and my body will require a total body massage at some point to survive today. The nurse from Hospice calls and when I tell her what I found out she to was unaware that Valium could cause such a problem. How can trying so hard to help someone hurt so much. Thank GOD for coffee and prayer, it will sustain till nap time.

People say,

I don't know what to say or do,

You don't have to say or do anything, it is just about being, D is alive, he's breathing, he's laughing, he still has good moments. He cherishes those and the memory of something you or he might have shared in the past. You don't have to do or bring anything, you just have to be. That's it, GOD will do the rest.