The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen nor touched but are felt in the heart
Today started oh so early, D had one of those nights, up and down, up and down and then after 4 a.m. I was just up. What does a person with a terminally, ill spouse do at 4 a.m., well this one wrote his obituary, picked out songs, pallbearers, honorary pallbearers and planned a funeral. Didn't even cry, just very factual, very black and white about the entire thing. Just shut down all emotion and got it done. Is that morbid, am I a bad person, do I think that D is dying tomorrow.....no, but I remember the only other time I wrote an obituary, it was almost one year ago. I remember being so broken, lost and distraught that I am not even sure what it said. I don't want the same thing to happen this time. Did I discuss this with D no, we talk about death and life daily and had already been to the funeral home shortly after his diagnosis to discuss arrangements. This is my responsibility not his.
We try to fill his life with the positive and handle the factual so Glio can't feed on negative energy. Is this the final draft no, is it subject to change yes.
D and I are very practical people. We know people that won't ever think about facing the reality of death. Listen folks, we are all dying to live....that's right...being here is temporary, Death just gets us to the best place ever "HEAVEN" - do I want D to die?
NO WAY !!!!!!
Pre-planning is not a sign of fast forwarding the movie through the commercials or the scary part, it's just making sure when we get to that time some of the pre-work is already done. Pre-planning saves family members heartache, hardships, fusses and fights when hearts are broken and a loved one has died. Pre-planning does not speed up the dying process, it doesn't mean "Oh my gosh I thought about planning a funeral and now I am going to die".
Maybe tomorrow, I will write my own obituary because my person isn't able to do it for me anymore thanks to Glio !
2 comments:
one thing about life, we can't ever make a "final draft." It's not over til it's over. If we are smart we live every day to the fullest, love each other the most, do our best, later we rest. Good that you have plans in plan Jannie, we plan everything else about our life but most of us don't or won't plan the end. Sending a hug and prayers...
I meant to say plans in place, old fingers don't work!
Post a Comment