A New Kinda Date Day !

Saturday's are always

Date Day

at our house. For years D and I have chosen to have a date, a few drinks at one of his favorite pubs and then off to a nice place to eat, watch a ballgame and then home again. Nothing fancy, a fun way to unwind after a long week at work. We try out new places to eat but usually ended up at the same place over and over. One of our favorites is the Outback Steakhouse. Just to sit at the bar, talk, eat, laugh and enjoy life. I am always the designated driver. One martini and that's it. It's fun, it's kinda our Cheers - everyone there knows our name. Mike the owner is a really nice guy and very generous to the community and his patrons. When he found out about D he offered to cook him anything he wanted if it would help.

Today I realized that Date Days are over. Glio has taken one more thing away from us. It's Saturday and rather than getting dressed up and all decked out to go out, I am sneaking a bath while D is sleeping, putting on another pair of sweat pants because it's easier, sticking my hair back in a ponytail yet again and definitely not bothering with make up.

Then I got to thinking about all the other things that I have appreciated about D over the years and wondered did he realize that I didn't take them for granted - - things that GLIO has now taken that really change date day and everyday. Simple things that become very complex when I become responsible for them.

Today, with Jill's help I trimmed D's beard, mustache and shaved his head. D was always so neat and trim with his facial hair - me not so much but it is better than it has been. His nose was itching, itching and itching - I said to him " it's because you need your nose hair trimmed will you let me do it?" He said " it depends on how much it costs!"

D always took care of his own clothing needs, what he was going to wear for the day, now I make those decisions. D took one to two showers everyday depending on what his day had been like - now I give him bed baths. D could get up and go to the bathroom on his own -tonight it takes 3 hours for that simple process to start and end.

D loved good food today on Date Day it has been 11 days since D has had anything to eat. We no longer share meals together, just talking about food makes him sick. I miss those simple things that GLIO has taken, the morning coffees, the lunch dates, the evenings on the deck, sharing day to day life.

In truth maybe I did take to much of the simple things for granted. D had this habit of whistling between his teeth - I can hear it now - but when he did it it would drive me crazy. In my mind I can still hear GOD saying "there will be a day you are going to miss this" so I never told him how bad that habit annoyed me. Why, because, how can I say this politely I had so many habits that annoyed the "juice" out of him. There that's the nice way. Now he can't whistle at all.

There are things that I don't take for granted now - I have learned not to take for granted the 3 hour decisions regarding whether to go or not to go to the bathroom,
every kiss, smile, hug and laugh will be cherished. The gifts of friendship extended to our family by food, love and laughter.

There will be no regrets as we continue on this journey. How can we take one second of this for granted no matter how difficult the struggles become. We will continue to embrace each other with a heart of love and begin to learn the richness of not taking one another for granted for as long as time allows.