Sunshine, Laughter & Tears all on a Tuesday !

Wow, what a week and it's only Tuesday! The third day of the week and I have already cried so much this week that I don't know if the tear ducts will last much longer. Why is that some weeks you think you are indestructible and other weeks you are proven so fragile?

Life is so hard, it is just down right difficult I don't care who you are and what is going on in your world. Today, I was talking to D's Dad Hale and he has finally realized the severity of D's illness. It has hit him hard, after all the man is almost 95 years old and both of his children are ill. He never thought that he would live to see his precious children with failing health, see his grandson killed, bury his beloved wife and most of his friends. He is emotional and troubled by his inability to physically or emotionally do more. He is hurting and in pain. His voice quivers as he speaks from the heart above the love for his only son.

Then D walks in the living room and falls, that's right just falls. Here I am thinking about going back to work, anxiety has already set in and my sweet husband can't walk across the floor without falling. What to do? Tears in my eyes, tears in my eyes.

D has lost so much weight that when he stands up, well, you can imagine. Laughter and sunshine ! So I go to find him something to wear, I open a box and the smell, the smell overwhelms and the tears flow, I am on my knees in deep overwhelming anguish for the hundredth time today. It is a box of Bo's jeans and they smell like Bo, I grab them, press them to my face and cry. D and I each smell the jeans, silly but true, we can still smell Bo and it's our boy. It's like he just walked into the room and we cry together, we smell together and we just hold each other. I want to hold on to that moment and smell forever, the feel of David's arms around me and the smell of Bo in the air. It's the smell of life not death. It's the smell and feel of love and happiness not sickness and sadness.

Oh what a day - I need a drink, a tranquilizer, prayers, a surprise or something to distract me from where I am today. Guess what, the mailman comes and no bills but a box full of surprises - I am so happy, I am laughing - a box full of homemade cookies,

Thai recipes and all the stuff to make those wonderful dishes, a beautiful card with a wonderful message all the way from Florida. Bo's very first love, Laura Ford, his first girlfriend from Kindergarten, had asked if we liked Thai food and would like some Thai recipes. When I told her yes, I never dreamed that she would not only mail the recipes, but she packed up all the stuff it takes to make them except of course the seafood and shipped it to us. What a GREAT SURPRISE from a GREAT GIRL !!!

Tuesday's tears have turned to laughter, the sun is shining, our hearts are full once more, friendships abound and GOD as always is in control.

In the words of the man who love I love the most, the beat of my heart the air that I breathe who told me today "GOD ALWAYS WINS !"

Tuesday has turned out to be a really AWESOME DAY !