COG - PODC - WW

Bet if I asked you what all of these stood for you might guess part of them but not all of them. These letters all represent some of who I am, not all but some. The first 3 are the ones I am most proud of. I love being a COG, I strive to be the best COG I can be.

Today I didn't always behave like a COG, today I got angry for the first time in a long time and used a word that I never use, there was no reason for it and I had to ask for forgiveness from my FATHER in Heaven and from the person who heard me say it. I was ashamed that I even said it. It was inappropriate, disgusting and downright shameful for a COG to use such language no matter how angry or upset they become. But use it I did and shamed I was. I don't like to be angry, don't like the way I feel, don't like the way I act, don't like anything about it.

Life is about doing your best, walking in the light, showing GOD's purpose to others and not being angry, but today satan pushed my buttons and got the better of me. I wasn't angry at a person, but at the circumstances that effected some people and how they impacted me with things that were said and done. Could I have handled the situation better, probably but I felt that it was time to stand up for myself and let everyone know that enough was enough. This COG was standing up for herself and not taking it anymore. Think I may have shocked some people because I have become pretty mellow about things over the years, but enough already.

I am a firm believer that you have to take responsibility for your actions when I am wrong I am the first one to own it, but don't try to make me responsible for something that I have totally no control over - put the blame where the blame lies and go on. D and I tried to teach Bo and Jill the same thing. Let me help you fix it and let's move forward then we can all be COG's.

PODC - definitely not anything anyone of you want to be, but if you are a COG you can deal with being a PODC better. You can even handle the WW better. Living with the compounded grief of PODC and WW makes the blessing of being a COG AWESOME. People need to be extra sensitive to PODC's and WW's. We have a right to our grief, the way we act, the way we live, it's ours and we are entitled to it. Don't ask stupid questions and don't make stupid remarks. If you haven't experienced it you don't have any idea how long it will take us to get "over" it. PODC's and WW's never get "over"it. We just get to where it is bearable.

Grief is not pathological - it is not scientific - it is real and each person's feelings are different - it comes in waves like peeling an onion skin from many different onions. There is no telling what can or will set off a grief wave, how long it will last or what the result of it will be BUT it is real and we are entitled to it. I met some other PODC's tonight that don't have the support that I do, so if you know a PODC or a WW, be sensitive, ask them if they need to talk no matter if it has been 2 weeks or 12 years some people aren't as fortunate as I am and need someone to listen to them.

I AM A COG -PODC- WW
CHILD OF GOD - PARENT OF DEAD CHILD - WIDOW WOMAN