Waterworks and Watermelon

The past two days have been so difficult for Jill and me. Seems like when one of us sheds tears, the other one does. We ride those grief waves together sometimes. We have both been missing D so bad the past 24 hours. Life is just hard sometimes and no matter how hard you try to put your big girl panties on and deal with it you want your husband and your Daddy around to help you. When they aren't, you cry, you grieve and you feel sorry for yourselves. Nothing you can say or do makes it better, you just have to be around people who either accept it, love you inspite of it or avoid you. Most of our friends and our small family love us no matter what.

Today it was brought home face first again how absent D is from our lives. A celebration that in the past that would have been for the entire family was one that was celebrated without even including some of us. It hurts, even when you tell yourself it doesn't matter. Jill and I draw closer, rely on each other more and know that no matter what we are bound by a love that will with stand time. So tonight we cried, we remembered and we face again the every changing tide of the life that we are living.

Then the beauty of life comes face first when you are in the presence of two wonderful loving little boys who can't wait to spend time with you. So shut off the waterworks and cut the watermelon. What a GREAT way to end the day !

Ian and Carter Dean know how to stop the focus from being on a pity party, sadness and loss. These little guys love me like no other. Their eyes light up when they see me walk into a room and my heart must skip a beat. Their main focus is to put a smile on my face and bring joy to my heart. GOD knew what HE was doing when HE gifted these blessings into my life.

We came home, had a watermelon party on the deck. Big mess, bigger fun, lots of laughter, jokes, noises and joy, joy, joy !!! My heart is full, my eyes dry and tonight I will thank GOD for the blessing of Ian and Carter Dean. For overflowing my JOY cup with the unconditional love of these precious children. I thank GOD that HE always picks me up when others hurt me and I will go to sleep tonight with the image of these cute little faces and the sound of their laughter in my ears.