The Zipper

Zip it up, Zip you lips, Zip it shut, Zip it !!!!
Sounds so easy, simple in fact - - - NOT !!! - First let's talk about zipping it up.

A simple article of clothing, a back zipper and major breakdowns that occur when you realize that the person who has been there for the past 25 plus years to help you zip it up is in HEAVEN. He is not worrying about whether that dress makes me look fat, if I am really going to wear that thing and how hard am I going to have to try to get that zipper up. D always, always was honest about how good or bad something made me look, now I just lie to myself, put in on and go. I know in the back of my mind what he would say, but most of the time it's the same ole stuff anyway.

But one thing I will no longer buy from this day forward is another article of clothing with a back zipper - there is no one there to help - and that is one way to be sure the anxiety, the grief wave and the pain of not being able to zip it up doesn't happen again. All those items are going to be donated or gifted away to someone who has someone to help them get dressed. (learned that at grief counseling - eliminate the problem where you can)

Another major problem of zipping it up has to do with the mouth - D as I have said is my moral compass - he reins me in when I get to extremes about something, he guides me with wisdom and courage when I need to be lead, he comforts me with strength when I need to be held and he encourages me with praise when I am down, he is the laughter in my smile and the sunshine in my heart.

He and my Heavenly Father have so much in common - since D has gone to Heaven, I spend most of my time in constant contact with GOD, HE doesn't speak as loudly as D did at times, but HE guides me with wisdom and courage, HE encourages me with praise, HE holds me when I need to be held, He laughs with me with great happiness and joy, He wipes the tears from my eyes. I realize that the reason D had such Jesus like qualities is because he tried to be Christ like in his actions.

He was human and full of faults, he was short-sided about many things, his way was ALWAYS I REPEAT ALWAYS RIGHT - in the 24 1/2 years we were married I count I was right 5 times - 1 - when I married him, 2 - when I admitted that 3 - when I said he was right all the time 4 - when I said I was sorry and 5 - when I said I loved him...

But no matter his faults the best thing about D was his love of GOD, his love of me and his love of our children. D could and would tell each one of us in his own unique way to zip it up when he had had enough of our constant chatter, complaining, whining and carrying on. There was no doubt that when D said "zip it" he meant it. No room for arguing, no room for complaining, and do not I repeat do not try to get in the last word. His word was final.

That's the way it is with GOD - HE said it, HE means it, it's final, don't argue, don't try and explain, don't try and rationalize it, don't try and sugarcoat it - it is what it is - accept it - live with it - HIS WAY or NO WAY ! now ZIP IT !!!!