White As Snow

In Revelation Jesus says that when you get to Heaven HE will give you a new tablet as 'white as snow' and you will have a new name known only to HIM. I love the sound of it. It is my favorite place to go in the bible, I travel there often, visualizing the thought of Jesus standing at Heaven's gate with open arms, a radiant smile on his face, those warm deep brown eyes and that glowing face open with all the love a soul can hold pulling me in ready to engulf my very soul into HIS. I feel the warmth of HIM as it pours into the very nerve fibers of my skin and I come alive with excitment and then I see it, a tablet so white and bright that I want to cover my eyes from the sheer radiance of it but I don't, as I am pulled closer in anticipation I don't know where to look first, HIS face, the tablet or the two people standing on each side of HIM, I can't take it all it but I want to see what is on that tablet, I want HIS arms to hold me, I want to run, I want to cry, I want to dance, I want to shout, I want, I want, I want. I want........

I am left wanting and waiting it is not time yet....but oh the majestic of being the bride at that wedding...the beauty of wearing a gown like no other of having the perfect bridegroom at that alter....the one part of this journey that intrigues me so much is that stone with my new name, the one that only Jesus knows.

My name I have struggled with all my life. My parents blessed me with a name of my Mother's best friend not realizing that there was a reason that no one called her by given name. NO ONE could say it right. It has been difficult, unforgiving, a source of teasing and unkindness from siblings and schoolmates all my life. I wear it with pride because of what it stands for, I fight for it, I refuse to allow others to say it wrong. Once going as far as being suspended from class because an "educated" teacher refused to speak it correctly. It is part of who I am.

Yesterday, we got our new stone, it is black and has our names on it. They are written in bold, white letters and in a place where I visit often. I thought I would be sad to see the headstone once it was in place but the emotions were all over the place, "fools names and fools faces always appear in public places." "Wow, would you look at the size of those letters","Uh Oh ours are the only white letters","seems odd to look at your name on your own tombstone", "not bad really","Oh, the cabin and four wheeler look cute-ewwww how can you think a tombstone is cute." See what I am talking about random thoughts all over the place. Then it hit me -----

I can't wait to hear the beauty of the name JESUS has for me - the sound, the knowledge that no one will ever mis-speak it - It leaves me wondering what name did Jesus give Bo, Lori and David, how excited were they when they heard it, what did their faces looks like when they received their stones and how happy they must be as they speak each others new names an walk amongst their HEAVENLY FATHER.

Our day will come and when it does these earthly stones will pass but until then I am thankful for a place to go, smile and remember that Jesus is waiting with a new stone of pure white, a new name and my loves ones standing by to greet me with open arms until then - I will soldier on...