I'm Not Angry At GOD, I'm Angry At That Stupid Know It All

Okay I'm on my soapbox tonight about grief and how it affects me. This may or may not have anything to do with you, but this is how I feel and many well meaning people, authors of know it all books and people of great wisdom, know it all folks have really got me ANGRY.

Ever since D died, I have been working thru my grief, just like anyone else I experience some of the emotions everyone does. I have support groups I attend for help regarding Bo and D's death. I survive that's what you do.

That doesn't mean there aren't day that I don't want to curl up in a ball, pull the covers over my head and wail like a crazy women for the loneliness in my heart and home. Sometimes I do just that..Poor Tac and Ollie don't know whether to cry with me or run outside but it's what I do.

Every where I go, I pick up pamphlets and small books on grief that I think my come in handy for myself or other friends of mine that are new to the grieving process. I always take the time to read them before ever passing them on. So far the only book I have passed on is Heaven Is For Real. All the rest have just flat p __ __ __ ed me off.

Why?? well I'll tell you why. They all say that people that grieve get angry with GOD, they ask GOD why, they believe that it's their fault that the person died. Steps in grieving and it just makes me madder and madder.

I have never asked GOD why, GOD didn't give D cancer, GOD didn't drive the truck that killed Bo and Lori, but HE was right there in the instant their lives were taken in that split second GOD was right there with the three of them, they never missed a heartbeat before they were in HIS presence.

It wasn't my fault that D got cancer or BO and Lori got killed, it was an accident and a disease. Simple truth, it could be anyone of us.

What makes me angry is these books by these know it alls are given to people in their weakness moments. A person without a strong faith will latch onto a simple idea and may carry that quilt for years because of some pamphlet they read.

Sometimes I wonder how many of these people are widows or have had a child die. If you want to know how it truly feels and how to help one of us you have to have experienced it.

The thought of ever blaming HIM or being angry with HIM saddens my heart and brings tears to my eyes.

The only way to survive the grief process is slow and steady and never, ever take your eyes off the cross. GOD will never forsake nor desert you.