I Had A Dream !

Many people have dreams, maybe not as eloquently spoken as MLK, but just as important to them as his was.  Yes, we all have dreams and aspirations of great things.  What we do with them is what separates us from the masses.  I do not profess to be a great civil rights leader, a great scholar or professor of the people what I am is a simple person who had a dream.  I am not making light of this important speech or the events surrounding it and the actions and changes that have or have not occurred since it happened, but my dream happened last night and to me is worth sharing so here goes.

As many of you know, I struggle in the grips of grief each and every day.  Some days are better than others, some week are better than others, some seconds even are so intense that they take my very breath away.  Many people won't even talk about D or Bo with me because it makes them uncomfortable.  Hello, it's not about you !  D and Bo are very much a part of who I am and that's my reality.  You must learn to live with it to be able to live with me and have me in your life.  I can't change, you have to adapt, I have adapted enough for one lifetime.  Selfish, but those of us and there are many feel this way about our lives.

The missing is so severe that I feel selfish for longing for D's presence when I know that it is unfair and unjust....that's when it happens, that's when the dreams come.  That my friends is why I had a dream last night.  
In my dream the past was the present, D was once again be forced to leave me because of the betrayal of a friend.   Our separation would be for months and he held me and told, "this time I am older and it will be much harder, it will be different on both of us.  This time I don't know if I will survive, my health will suffer very badly I know."  We held each other and cried.  It was as if he had some insight to something I didn't.  Time passes and I am back to our bedroom and standing at the bed watching him have that horrific seizure prior to being diagnosised with cancer.  Wow, I can feel the tears on my face but I can't wake up.  

In the next instance, D and I are standing side by side at his graveside, he has his arms around me and he says
"My chains are gone, I've been set free !" 

 Yes, my friends, I had a dream last night ! When I get lonely for my D and Bo, my ABBA always wraps HIS loving arms around me and shows me the BIGGER picture.  I would not ask D for one more second here in this life for all of the glory of eternity.  I will be there someday, laughing, dancing in the rain, singing and shouting, praising and worshiping ABBA.