One week ago, 7 days exactly D went to Heaven, what a beautiful journey it was, peaceful, glorious and sweet for him to go. What a long sad difficult 7 days this has been for me and many others. But with all the difficulties there have been so many blessings, prayers, gifts of love and friendship what right to I have to complain.
Should I, will I shame GOD by being sad and lonely because I miss D. NO, HE knows how much I love that man, how difficult these 7 days have been for me and the others. But, HE also puts those people in our paths to help us. Today, day 7 I find the loss strong, the pain unbearable at times. I do that busy stuff that keeps me from the house so I don't have to be present with the funeral stuff, but then what do I do, I go to the cemetery and just sit at D's grave.
Yes,I know that D is not there, but the wind has laid, the scent of the flowers in the air is beautiful and the peace on the hill is so calming. I love this cemetery. I talk to GOD, I pray for peace, I pray for my friends that support me and I pray for Mr. Hill who is still grieving for his wife that died in 2005. Dean, Shannon and I met him on Wednesday after D's funeral. I pray for myself and my children, I pray for those people that have wronged me and my family. I pray for rest, I pray for my broken heart to heal. I pray that the next 7 days will make me stronger and allow me to learn to live again. I pray that I will continue to let GOD's light shine for others' to see. I pray for D to be proud of the decisions I make concerning our family and businesses. I pray not to be a failure at my life. I pray to be the woman of GOD that GOD wants me to be.
I pray and I pray and I pray and then I realize the 7 x 7 x 7 x 7 x 7 x 7 till eternity I will always love GOD and D and that no matter how perfect the number 7 is no matter how many days or weeks go by, no matter how many prayers I pray, I will always fall short but GOD will always love me to PERFECTION ACCORDING TO HIS PLAN.
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