Fourteen ????

Fourteen days = fourteen thousand decisions I have had to make, fourteen thousand tears I have shed in a day, fourteen thousand questions I have needed answers to, fourteen days waking up alone, fourteen nights I have slept alone. Fourteen is a lonely number when you are a new widow, fourteen is a BIG number when you are just beginning to count days. Fourteen doesn't even sound pretty to me anymore, it has taken on a new meaning - two full weeks have passed since D died and starting living. Fourteen days I have tried to find a way not to become a walking dead person. Fourteen days I have struggled to maintain ME ! Fourteen days I have pretended to be the same on the outside but for fourteen days GOD and I have know that I have changed in fourteen million ways on the inside in the past fourteen days.

Today, I was blessed by the sunshine and thought so much about D and my life as I was outside working in the yard. During my time of reflection and talking with GOD, I was thinking over the past fourteen days and something profound stuck in my head. GOD shared with me a message that was truly a wake up call about my life - HE is so using the circumstances of my life to improve my faith walk, change and mold me into the person HE needs me to be. I am so blessed to have such and AWESOME FATHER!

Here was my lesson for today - How many times in your life starting from say your teen years did you say to someone "I love you - I can't live without you?" "You are my world!" or "I would just die if I don't get that new purse or new car!" Before D died, we talked many times about his death and I clearly remember saying "I just don't know if I can live without you?" - GOD told me today - "The only thing you can't live without is ME!" and HE is so right !!!!!

In the past fourteen days I have come to realize that without GOD I will never see D again, I will never LIVE !!!! I will never reap the true reward of eternal love and life.

The only thing I have to have to live - is GOD !!! Fourteen is 7 + 7 and everyone knows that 7 is GOD's perfect number.
So on GOD's perfect day of sunshine and blessings on the
7 + 7 day of D's earthly death, I spent a most rewarding day with my Father.

To a good man GOD gives not only wisdom and knowledge, but joy - Matthew Henry