Phone Call From Heaven

Sunday was on of those missing days. It started in church, from the moment I stepped into that wonderful place. The place I feel safe and loved. The missing became so strong I thought I would not be able to walk. Made it to our spot and was so happy to see that Michael was there so I wouldn't be alone today in our family spot. Sometimes it is so hard to be surrounded by so many people that care, but yet be alone in a crowd.

I had no idea how much harder today was going to be....Communion mediation was given and it was about Amazing......Grace - not the song but the impact of GOD's grace and how amazing it is and then James Dickard began to play his guitar and sing Amazing Grace. He sang this song at D's funeral....now the missing takes my breath away...I close my eyes and see D everywhere, standing at the front of the church praying over our newborn grandsons, sitting beside me with his glasses on his forehead, his gold pen in hand marking his bible, his arms wrapped around me gently tickling my arm. I feel his presence next to me and see him picking on the boys, smiling when he sees Jill come in the back door, tears in his eyes as he watch Bo rededicate his life in Baptism, I see him falling out of his wheelchair the last Sunday he was able to come to church, I see and hear the funeral events and the missing makes me leave the sanctuary.

Church is not just a place to praise and worship, it is a place of a thousand memories and more for all of us. The memories flood my soul and threaten to drag me into despair, but Kem, Roberta and Chuck take me to lunch, brighten my day and refuse to allow me to go to the pits of depression and sorrow. I needed their laughter and joy.

Where does the phone call from Heaven come in, well, I'm getting there...sometimes when the missing gets so great and the needs overcome me, I pray and pray and pray. In the depths of all my missing, there are some major decisions and choices that I need to make that I have always had D to go to for help. Sunday night in the deepness of my sleep the phone in my head rang and when I answered it it was D calling from Heaven...his voice sounded different, but his words were from D or maybe it was GOD on the other end. Anyway he answered my questions and told me he would always be there for me, always help me and I would know what to do, he reassured me, and then I heard the most beautiful singing I had ever heard in the background. I said "the Heavenly Choir is beautiful!" he said "Oh, wait to you get here - it's is so much better in person !." Last words I heard before the line went dead - I Love You to Heaven and Back !