Two years ago today my life changed completely in the beat of a heart, the blink of an eye, one last breath. GOD sent one or more escorts to carry D home. It was a beautiful and heart wretching event to witness but none the less it was ours to witness.
D was the most GODLY man I have known to this day. He was a sinner, a man of many faults and he knew it. He worked hard to become the man that GOD wanted him to be and felt many times that he fell short of the goals he set for himself.
He loved few as deeply as he loved his family. He was a quiet man with a generous heart - if you were in his inner circle you got to see glimpses of the jokester that he usually reserved for those closest to him. There was a side to him that only I know that I will take to my grave and a side reserved for his children and grandchildren.
Since D received his Heaven Date - I have become blessed with many new friends, many new challenges, faced many new fears and learned to rely more on GOD than on D. Life as I once knew it is completely changed. I still turned to D in my mind and think what would he do, but in truth the decisions have to be mine. It has made me stronger, more dependent on GOD and more focused on my relationship with HIM.
My new normal is not what I would have chosen for myself. I see things in my life the D warned me about, and wish I had listened better a few years ago. There are days my longing for his is so intense I feel his presence. He is never more than a nano second from existence in my mind.
We were suppose to grow old together, retire together and die together. That's what I always told D and he would say "I will not grow old, I will be lucky to reach 60. It is not GOD's plan for me I know and you should accept it." He knew and I denied. We loved and I prayed for longer and longer. GOD gave us a good life and for that I am thankful - NO REGRETS !!!
Today has been 2 years, today it's different somehow. I'm different, stronger, more determined to be the woman D always said I could be, the woman he said I was, the woman he made me feel like I had become. Today I miss him but I celebrate him. I acknowledge that D was a man of many colors, shades and facades - I celebrate that knowing him I knew all and still loved him to Heaven and back.
Today is a day of blessing, remembering and celebrating the life of one of GOD's servants:
D was the most GODLY man I have known to this day. He was a sinner, a man of many faults and he knew it. He worked hard to become the man that GOD wanted him to be and felt many times that he fell short of the goals he set for himself.
He loved few as deeply as he loved his family. He was a quiet man with a generous heart - if you were in his inner circle you got to see glimpses of the jokester that he usually reserved for those closest to him. There was a side to him that only I know that I will take to my grave and a side reserved for his children and grandchildren.
Since D received his Heaven Date - I have become blessed with many new friends, many new challenges, faced many new fears and learned to rely more on GOD than on D. Life as I once knew it is completely changed. I still turned to D in my mind and think what would he do, but in truth the decisions have to be mine. It has made me stronger, more dependent on GOD and more focused on my relationship with HIM.
My new normal is not what I would have chosen for myself. I see things in my life the D warned me about, and wish I had listened better a few years ago. There are days my longing for his is so intense I feel his presence. He is never more than a nano second from existence in my mind.
We were suppose to grow old together, retire together and die together. That's what I always told D and he would say "I will not grow old, I will be lucky to reach 60. It is not GOD's plan for me I know and you should accept it." He knew and I denied. We loved and I prayed for longer and longer. GOD gave us a good life and for that I am thankful - NO REGRETS !!!
Today has been 2 years, today it's different somehow. I'm different, stronger, more determined to be the woman D always said I could be, the woman he said I was, the woman he made me feel like I had become. Today I miss him but I celebrate him. I acknowledge that D was a man of many colors, shades and facades - I celebrate that knowing him I knew all and still loved him to Heaven and back.
Today is a day of blessing, remembering and celebrating the life of one of GOD's servants:
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